What needs are you not having met? (have not been met growing up) If you are trying to always meet others needs that means that there are needs of your own that are not being attended to? What are you tendencies? What behaviors were adopted over the years? What purpose have they served you? Others? Compassion for others vs. compassion for self! New patterns of behaviors produce new outcomes/new results. Codependency Codependency is characterized by sacrificing one’s personal needs in order to try to meet the needs of others and is associated with passivity and feelings of shame, low self-worth, or insecurity. The term codependency was originally coined to describe a person’s dependence on the addictive behaviors of a partner or family member, usually with regards to drugs and alcohol. Today it is more broadly associated with the behaviors of someone whose actions and thoughts revolve around another person or thing.
Signs of Codependency Codependency does not constitute a diagnosable mental health condition, largely because the symptoms of codependency are so broad and widely applicable. The primary symptoms associated with codependency may be people-pleasing behaviors and the need for the validation and approval that comes from caring for and rescuing others. The codependent person may also have poor boundaries, fear being alone or without an intimate partner, and deny his or her desires and emotions. Other characteristics of codependency may include: • Perfectionism and a fear of failure • Sensitivity to criticism • Denial of personal problems • Excessive focus on the needs of others • Failure to meet personal needs • Discomfort with receiving attention or help from others • Feelings of guilt or responsibility for the suffering of others • Reluctance to share true thoughts or feelings for fear of displeasing others • Low self-esteem • Internalized shame and helplessness • Projection of competence and self-reliance • A need to control others • Self-worth based on caretaking • Feeling undeserving of happiness • Caring for and enabling someone who abuses drugs or alcohol
While people experiencing codependency chooses to provide care for others, he or she may also resent those people and label them as “needy.” He or she may feel trapped in the role of caregiver, even though that role provides a sense of importance and an escape from working on personal issues. On the other hand, some people claim to enjoy the caregiving role, when in reality, they are trying to hide the fact that they are chronically unhappy.
Let's try and beat this co-dependency together, not apart. Text or message me for more information on this topic. I can help you. You don't have to fight this all alone.