Once again I was watching the news (I know it continues to be a big mistake on my part). Everything seems to be politicalized. This side says that and blames “them”. That side blames the others and blames “them”. I would really like to know who the “them” is. All I know is that people are still angry. Angry about the economy. Angry about racism. Angry about the virus. Angry about…. Oh its not anything that affects me. That’s what I here people say. Yet their anger is obvious. They are protesting still the deaths that seem to keep happening. When will it all stop? When will we finally come together, as a human, not black, not brown, not yellow, not red, just a human. Well, that leads me to write about anger. Anger can kill. Anger can keep us separated. Anger, used properly, can be useful. See the below information on anger so that we can better understand that emotion, we call anger.
1. Assertiveness: Communicating honestly in a manner that is very considerate of the other person’s needs and rights and does not harm anyone so as to make them cautious.
2. Tune Out/Cool Down: Acknowledge that the situation has become unpredictable and nonproductive and recommend removal from the situation to give each person a chance to cool down and collect his/her thoughts and recapture an individual control.
3. Relaxation: Understand and execute relaxation abilities to reduce stress and tension through the use of words that signal moderation, deep breathing that releases anxiety, envisioning relaxing scenes, or deep muscle relaxation techniques.
4. Diversion: When anger is felt to be developing, find distracting activities that stop the buildup and focus the mind on more pleasant experiences.
5. Physical Exercise: When anger and tension levels rise, physical exercise can be a great way to release tension and dismiss energy as an alternative to losing control or bursting into a rage.
6. Problem-Solving Skills: Recognize or illuminate the problem, brainstorm imaginable solutions, review the pros and cons of each alternate solution, select the best substitute for execution, assess the outcome as to mutual satisfaction, and finally, regulate a solution if necessary to increase mutual satisfaction.
7. Self-Talk: Take time to talk to yourself in calming, rational, and practical sentences that move you toward anger control and away from inappropriate expressions of anger.
8. “I” Messages: Speak to the target of your anger, explaining your feelings and needs rather than criticizing, categorizing, or explaining the other person’s behavior, motivations, or goals. Begin your sentences with “I feel . . .” or “I need. . . .”
If we try to implement these simple solutions we can deal with our anger. Our collective anger is a weapon that we need to wield carefully. We must realize that our anger is making the world a dangerous place. A place that we wouldn’t want our children to be exposed to. We must come together or we will perish.
We must keep the dialogue open for the free exchange of our thoughts and feelings.