WHAT IS A SELF-DEFEATING BEHAVIOR?
Therapists have defined “self-defeating behavior” as any behavior that impedes a person's goals and wishes. The following personality qualities characterize some self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that will keep you from prospering. Please check all that pertain to you.
1. Lack of motivation: Part of being effective is the longing to do well. It must be something that you WANT.
2. Lack of persistence: Everyone becomes disheartened or irritated at times. The successful person will go on and not give up.
3. Little accomplishments: If you are working hard, but have little to show for it, you may need assistance in how to use your time more efficiently. The quality of your effort is more important than just putting in time. Learn how to focus your energy on each of your responsibilities.
4. Inability to complete tasks and to follow-through: Some people are very good at starting projects, but seem unable to fulfill them. In life, be compensated for the work you promise to accomplish and then do it. Would you pay a serviceman who only finished half the repairs on your house?
5. Inability to get started: This is partly related to motivation or wanting to do your work. But it also incorporates being able to do something that's in your best interest even though you would rather be doing something else (e.g., fishing, being out with your friends, etc.). You can help yourself by looking into the future and seeing the payoff (e.g., better employment, better way of life, etc.) you will receive by taking the time now to do good work.
6. Fear of failure: There are two kinds of people. Those who are afraid to make blunders because they think they will look ridiculous to others. Then there are people who are not afraid to make blunders because they understand it is the only way to really learn. All successful people have made blunders or failed at something. They became successful because they learned from their blunders and did not give up.
7. Procrastination: Procrastination refers to putting off doing things that need to be done. Procrastination only leads to poor quality of work, increased anxiety, and dissatisfaction with yourself.
8. Looking for scapegoats: The person who is “looking for scapegoats” is always looking to criticize someone else for their poor accomplishments and/or behaviors. These people refuse to take blame for their own missteps.
9. Excessive self-pity: We might call this the “poor me disease.” Sometimes we all feel bad about one thing or another, but it's a problem when we think like this too much of the time. People who spend most of their time being unhappy don't have the strength to use their time productively and make changes. Over time, unhappiness also tends to turn other people off.
10. Distractibility and lack of concentration: It is imperative to be able to focus your energy when listening and completing assignments. Some people have trouble doing this without help. If this is a real problem for you, then it is crucial to ask for help. Break your responsibilities into smaller activities if you can’t focus for long periods of time. Try to figure out under what circumstances you work best.
11. Ineffective time management: Successful people learn how to balance recovery, their work and personal life. First you have to decide about the real priorities in your life (hopefully being successful will be high on that list). Then learn how to budget your time so that you can complete the priorities. You will not only feel great about yourself and be more successful, but you will find time to enjoy your life.
12. Too little self-confidence: The best way to build self-confidence is to first change the kind of self-defeating behavior I have described above. For example, when you are determined, you refuse to give up.
We can do this people, we REALLY can. If we share ideas like these we can overcome ANYTHING!!!
PEACE Ernie R. 954-213-3923